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Rob Rebecca Beginner s Luck a keepsake from Memoir for Me
To Rob my amazing and incredible husband This is just a snippet of our story and I am so excited to continue life s adventure with you I love you forever and always With all my heart Becca To my wife partner and love our journey through life together has already created many amazing memories but we are far from done and I wake up each morning next to you with the excitement of a child at Christmas in anticipation of what adventures the day will bring for us to share a lifetime of growing together Love Rob
Becca and Rob Chicago 2014 All my life I had this funny little feeling Came and went time and again in all my daily dealings Call it a deficit an emptiness inside Why is true love hard to find why does true love hide Rebecca Pasquesi now Toton and Robert Toton found love like many others these days We met on the web you know the old fashioned way said Rob But right away there was a feeling like we d known each other forever said Becca 3
What may have started off as a modern Match connection has ended up a relationship for the ages Rob and Rebecca along with 10 year old Dylan make up Team Toton a powerhouse committed to communication and understanding It was love at first sight or even first phone call Right away phone calls with Becca were so much different more impactful than any previous calls or dates I had said Rob All of a sudden I became a phone person I am not a phone person Becca pointed out after admitting to spending hours on the phone with this person she had just met A 20 minute call effortlessly became two hours said Rob Langham Hotel Chicago 2013 Wrigley Field Chicago 2014
Race Against Hate Evanston 2013 Dinner at Todoroki Evanston 2013 During these calls and meetings after they discovered they shared values similarities and an unbelievable number of small world connections They discovered they hung out at many of the same places in Chicago I Monelli Pizzeria the Atlantic Bar even Brother Jimmy s a now closed barbeque joint where Becca worked as a waitress in her 20s Becca s father Robert Pasquesi shares initials with Rob When I saw Rob s email I had to ask what the L stood for It was Louis just like my dad who is Louis L Robert Pasquesi said Becca Similarities aside there was a true connection between the two that was more than just a coincidence Their early dates mirrored their marathon phone calls The first date was brunch at Sola a 5
small restaurant in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago Their conversations clicked right away and they had to send their waitress away multiple times before they had even looked at the menu My jaw hit the floor when I first saw her said Rob He was so handsome I loved his smile and his eyes said Becca That brunch lasted hours But now I found you and I know that we would be So very happy if you could only see That I was made for you and you were made for me 6 Trump Hotel Chicago 2013
Karoo restaurant Cayman Islands 2013 On their third date they closed down a restaurant losing track of time and not wanting the moment to end They were at Glenn s Diner a small local hotspot and it was packed They had a small two top table in the middle of the floor surrounded by people on all sides The next thing they knew they were the only people left in the restaurant Everyone had emptied out and the staff was glaring mops in hand willing the couple to just leave already We commonly lose track of time together said Rob We close down restaurants That has become one of our things The road in front of us is long and it is wide We ve got beginner s luck we ve got it on our side With you I will and well I think I m qualified And with beginner s luck we ve got to take the ride 7
One of their many shared coincidences threw quite a wrench in their early relationship Rebecca was a banker for Northern Trust with many middle market corporate clients One such client was Schwarz Paper Rob s employer The privately held company was being acquired by a public entity and the deal needed to be shrouded in secrecy until it was final As part of the due diligence team Rob had signed a confidentiality agreement and couldn t discuss the specifics with anyone This was November 2013 and the deal was to close prior to the end of the year Rob found himself working nights and weekends and could only commit to dates with Becca last minute Given the mysterious project Becca started questioning Rob s commitment to her He always spoke about maintaining a work life balance But with this project that wasn t consistent 8 With Becca s siblings L R Rob James and Sara
With Dylan at Independence Grove Libertyville 2015 All I could think was where is this going Becca recalls This moment would ve broken a different couple Rob simply asked Please trust me and soon I ll be able to explain my project at work And thankfully for Rob she did trust him I ve got a plan you know I ve got it all worked out And all you gotta do is pack your bags and check your doubts You ll come around and you will see just what I am A true love through the worst of times a true love until the end The acquisition became public on December 28th and the first thing Rob did was pick up the phone to call Becca to let her know what had been going on the past two months and more importantly that it was all over 9
The fact that she had faith in me during that period said Rob I am forever grateful This was a defining moment in their relationship When asked when he knew Becca was the one Rob admitted it was early on It became clear to both of them during these marathon phone calls and while closing down restaurants neither was in it just to date They knew they wanted to spend their lives together So now you found me and you ve only got to see How complementary we could really be Cause I was made for you and you were made for me 10 Superbowl Race Chicago 2013
Their pier in Independence Grove They had started running together from the onset of their relationship and had signed up for their second Soldier Field 10 Mile race and their first half marathon Disguised as another training run Rob planned a trip up to Independence Grove a forest preserve in a nearby northern suburb of Chicago This was the site of several previous hikes spent sharing intimate details of their lives and becoming more and more connected Rob mapped out a course that would end them perfectly in the spot that he and Becca afterwards deemed their pier He would plan to stumble and sneak out the ring while being on one knee We were running at a pretty good clip and all I could think of was please don t lose the ring please don t lose the ring said Rob 11
When the time came for his intentional fall Becca was thrown for a loop Concerned she thought he had collapsed and ran to him in a panic Her fears quickly turned to tears of joy when she spotted the ring and realized his intentions My plan worked perfectly Rob said She was so weak and tired from our run she couldn t possibly say no I was a mess said Becca A mix of tears sweat laughing crying but it was perfect Their engagement period was only six months and the couple juggled a lot in addition to planning in the months leading up to their wedding 12 She says I do April 5 2014
Summer Art Fair on Evanston s Lakefront 2013 They chaired a 1 500 person charity event for Misericordia listed and sold Becca s condo by owner in a matter of weeks trained for and ran their first half marathon and dealt with a major natural disaster A large 50 foot tree fell on their home and knocked off their brick chimney onto their car Thankfully no one was hurt These shared experiences further strengthened Team Toton We ll take the ride as far as anyone can go We ll brave it all hand in hand and toe to toe I ve got it all worked out don t worry about a thing Just give your hand to me and here put on this ring 13
They were married Oct 25 2014 at the Ravenswood Event Center on the north side of Chicago Right away when Dylan Becca and Rob toured the site they knew it would be perfect The day of their wedding though late October was unseasonably warm and sunny Every weekend leading up to the wedding was cold and wet typical Chicago weather said Rob We couldn t have hoped for a more perfect day said Becca It was a picture perfect autumn day leading into a beautiful evening The ceremony was at 6pm The event space had floor to ceiling windows framing the couple in a beautiful night Introducing Mr and Mrs Toton
Happiness at reception When Becca came down the aisle I could not stop smiling I thought my face was cracking said Rob I couldn t take my eyes off of her It was a night we didn t want to end said Becca Rob and Becca packed in a lot of lifetime memories in that one night They will never forget hearing Nirvana as the final song and seeing all the Toton cousins willingly out on the dance floor like never before The day after the wedding the couple enjoyed catching up with guests over brunch at the Hotel Intercontinental They had the 24th floor and could see skyline views of the city They went through pictures together from the photo booth at the wedding and shared laughs 15
During the drive home with Dylan now the three Totons it hit Becca I remember thinking how quickly the night flew by said Becca But now they were excited to start their lifetime together They had a few days to hang out and recuperate before returning back to work The couple would not take their honeymoon until months later In the days and the weeks to follow Becca and Rob received a steady outpouring of love from family and friends We got to relive the wedding through their emails and photos from the night said Becca There was an unfortunate trip to the DMV in the days following the wedding Becca wasted no time in making the Toton name official After spending hours waiting in line they were told that they needed the ACTUAL wedding certificate not a copy 16 Old Orchard Skokie 2013 Viewmount House Longford Ireland 2015
On their honeymoon in Bora Bora I almost got kicked out of the DMV I was so mad but luckily Rob talked me down This wasn t the first time Rob could sense disquiet in his soul mate Even in their early phone conversations Rob would always encourage they talk it through together If I hung up and something didn t feel right said Rob I would immediately call her back and say Let s talk about it It is this commitment to communication that has helped to create this perfect union Everyone has different communication styles said Rob But it s more than just words being uttered It s I am hearing you I m trying to understand you and let s work to come to a satisfying conclusion 17
I ve learned never wait to communicate said Becca The road in front of us is long and it is wide We ve got beginner s luck we ve got it on our side We will be stronger if our forces are aligned And with beginner s luck we ve got to take the ride This past year has been a whirlwind for Becca and Rob In addition to getting married they ve recently visited Ireland together with Dylan to celebrate a good friend s baby s baptism Becca was godmother It was an incredible trip said Becca 18 On Nantucket 2013
Guinness Factory Dublin Ireland 2015 Chicago Diner 2013 In fact Dylan had so much fun touring the Emerald Isle that he told all his friends about it and the trip was a lively topic of discussion at Dylan s recent birthday party But it s in the quieter everyday moments that Team Toton shines The three will often spend a night cooking or playing Trouble Uno Clue or Operation Star Wars edition of course Dylan can crack an egg with one hand and he wins every game for the record said Rob The three go on bike rides together Rob with Dylan on a bike extender off the back We d be going along and I could feel it waving behind me Sure enough I look back and Dylan is turned around backwards so he could talk to Becca 19
The trio even have fun doing homework and reading books aloud together Bedtime is often delayed because Dylan wants to read just one more page of classic works such as The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn or The Adventures of Tom Sawyer We create fun together said Rob Creating lifelong memories from even the simplest experiences It s telling that Dylan would rather practice his cooking skills or beat his dad and Becca at a game of Clue rather than watch TV It s very important to do things together to be present in the moment together said Rob The Totons might only be in their first year of marriage but with this mindset they are well suited to a lifetime together Lyrics from their first dance song selected with much care sums their story up well Team Toton
The road in front of us is long and it is wide We ve got beginner s luck we ve got it on our side With you I will and well I think I m qualified And with beginner s luck we ve got to take the ride From Beginners Luck by Eels 21