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Don McMillan Speaking His Mind a keepsake from Memoir for Me memoirforme com
Dear Ol Dad We hope you love this book nearly as much as we all love you You have had a great life and we all benefitted Without you Cary would never have been an Eagle Scout a CPA or an ATO Mark would never have been an Engineer a Carpenter or a Pop culture expert Chris would never have known anyone who had his back every single day no matter what Rande Annette and your five grandchildren all will be thrilled to read about Grampa Don
Speak your mind and fear less the label of crackpot than the stigma of conformity Thomas J Watson IBM
Don age 2 1930 Don Cary McMillan was born on February 24 1928 in Utica New York on the Mohawk River at the foot of the Adirondack Mountains to Helen Cary and Chester Daniel McMillan Both the Cary and the McMillan families originated in Scotland The McMillans came to Massachusetts by way of Prince Edward Island Canada My name was originally Donald my mom wanted the name Don but the Catholic Church said there was no such name It always irritated me so after my mom died when I was 14 I asked everyone to call me Don because that was what she wanted I m not the best Catholic Don s mother was an accountant balancing the books of a theater company Don s father Dee Dee McMillan was a salesman for the La Touraine Coffee Company based in Boston The coffee company expanded its operations to Cleveland Ohio and Don s father took his family to the Midwest My dad was a very good salesman He was quite successful considering economic conditions at the time He was also a good speaker and well read he loved The Harvard Classics He always had a book in his hands even though his schooling ended at 10th grade because he had to help support his family Initially Don s parents rented a house in Cleveland but soon bought a home in University Heights near John Carroll University Most of their neighbors were doctors lawyers or business owners 5
Even so people were not making a lot of money Helen s mother and stepfather Agnes and William Barton whom Don called Ag and Mr B lived upstairs and Don was very close to them I remember playing Chinese checkers with Ag and Mr B and they cheated playfully I loved them Don was a pretty typical kid but had his challenges My mom loved Shirley Temple and her tap dancing So I was signed up for tap dancing at the Billy Tilton School of Dance Mind you I was a fat kid that was a mark against anyone I was too fat for sports so instead I tap danced and played trumpet in the band Despite these marks against him Don had no shortage of friends to play with including close friends Larry Vince and John and Bob Myhling I was a favorite at the Mhyling house because I could make Mrs Myhling laugh She and Mr Myhling did not get along very well and I guess I cheered her up Don also lived right down the street from Major League Baseball player and manager Lou Boudreau 6 Don with Bob Myhling 1980
Don s 8th grade class at GESU Catholic School 1942 He was on my paper route I wanted to get something signed but he prepaid 18 cents a week so I could never get an autograph As an adult I met him at a Rotary Club meeting and kidded him that he still owed me money which he didn t Don attended grammar school at GESU Catholic School which was overcrowded and understaffed with classes sharing rooms and resources a reflection of the widespread economic situation of the time Overall Don s memories from this time are good ones There were four nuns that ran the school They were strict but nice We all received a good basic education and eventually almost everyone graduated from college But life turned tragic for Don His mother Helen died unexpectedly when he was 14 She just got sick one day and was dead a week later and the doctors had no idea why After Helen died Don s second family became the Myhlings across the street who gave him his own bedroom and also a nickname Mr Myhling was from Lithuania and spoke halting English but he still built a successful trucking company He called me Mickey At age 15 when it was time to enroll in high school Don s father thought it would be a good thing for Don to attend Staunton Military Academy in Staunton Virginia And it was a good thing 7
Don at Staunton Military Academy 1943 I loved it As long as you followed the rules everything went great The Army officers were good instructors and were always fair When Don left for military school he was only 5 foot 3 and overweight I thought This is going to be awful My dad suggested I join the boxing team He said Nobody is going to hurt you no one would want to beat up a fat kid Go in there and keep your gloves up So I started boxing The boxing coach whom they called Captain Joe had a soft spot for Don and encouraged Don to show up for practice and help out with the activities of the team The guys got to know me and in exchange for hauling stuff around for them they would stick up for me During Don s first year he grew a few inches and lost 50 lbs I wasn t the fat kid anymore so life got easier Mary Baldwin College an all girls school was nearby and I soon had a girlfriend It was great 8 Don still proudly wears his Staunton class ring After graduating from Staunton Military Academy his dad wanted him to attend Cornell University but he ended up enrolling with his friend John Myhling at The Ohio State University Don majored in accountancy following in the footsteps of his mother
My mother had told me that if I could learn accounting I could always have a job After transferring to Case Western Reserve University Don graduated in January 1951 with a BBA in Accountancy and was commissioned a Second Lieutenant Armored Recon in the Army Following college Don spent a few months in sales waiting for the Army to call him to active duty Don was trained to be a tank unit commander He was initially stationed in Washington D C and became friends with a group of officers in the Army Counter Intelligence Corps This group would later become members of what is now known as the CIA Don was intrigued with the idea and wanted in I told my commanding officer of my interest and the next thing I knew I had orders to ship out to Korea The Army hated the idea of the CIA The Korean War was raging at the time and Don quickly found himself on the front lines of battle My assigned tanks were spread over ten sometimes twenty miles and I had to visit each one every day Usually the whole area was under enemy observation and was subject to 60 and 82 millimeter mortars supplied by the Russians to the Chinese One night 8 to 10 Chinese soldiers suddenly started throwing flares shouting and shooting as they climbed a barbed wire fence on our MLR Main Line of Resistance I was standing outside of a tank with a crew inside I told them to close the pistol ports pull up the escape hatch to button up and don t get out Each tank had an exterior 50 caliber machine gun that I then activated and started firing into the area where I thought the Chinese were located approximately 80 to 100 fifty caliber rounds All was quiet Don with the Executive Director of the Korean War Museum in Seoul South Korea 2010 9
When the firefight was over Don returned to his base and told his captain the story of his close encounter He didn t believe me He couldn t believe that I had no injuries I was lucky I wasn t captured by the Chinese my roommate from Staunton Charles Detweiler was captured and butchered by the Chinese in September 1952 one week before I arrived in Korea In 2010 Don returned to South Korea with his son Cary and met a Korean American woman from Northwestern University who was born in Seoul in the thick of combat She told them that without the help of Chinese soldiers she and her mother would never have made it Her father had deserted the family and the Chinese soldiers gave them food water and blankets returning to help them for about 10 days Proof that there is humanity amongst monsters The war took a toll on Don In 1954 he returned to Shaker Heights Ohio to resume his life I drank a lot and smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes a day It was getting out of hand so I eventually quit both Now I won t touch either It s a good thing when you wake up in the morning and your first thought isn t a cigarette Don started working for Haskins and Sells a public accountancy firm The hours I worked were unbelievable But I learned the practical aspects of cost accounting since General Motors was our major client 10 Don 1950
Don and Barbara 1957 1956 was a big year for Don He moved to Cincinnati Ohio to work at a little known at the time company called IBM selling and installing mainframe computers He ended up working there for eight years Early computers were evolving out of California from punch cards to magnetic tape IBM would design and build these machines then sell or rent them out There was hardly anyone competing with us Don not only started a new job in 1956 but also met his future wife Barbara Crush while first in Cincinnati participating in an IBM training program She was a registered nurse Nurses have always been my favorite Don and Barbara were married less than a year later Barbara wanted to get married in a church and since Don could only be married in a Catholic church Barbara converted to Catholicism They honeymooned in Washington D C Kids came within a few years First Cary in 1958 then Mark in 1959 Finally Chris was born in 1965 11
Don s son Chris 1965 In the early 1960s IBM promoted Don from being a technical representative to sales and moved him and his family to Kingsport Tennessee and assigned him to install a major payroll system for a mining company Next he was sent to Indianapolis Indiana this time to install an inventory management system for a large grocery chain It was the first of its kind and stressful to get up and running There was a huge amount of information necessary to properly program and install the system It was a bear My nerves were completely shot there was nobody to go to for help because nobody knew any more about systems design than I did Eventually it did work thankfully but I was done I decided to switch gears and go back into public accounting Don moved his family to Wheaton Illinois and took a job at Peat Marwick which eventually became known as KPMG My wife didn t want to go but once we got to Chicago she never wanted to leave But the job didn t work out 12
They said I d be gone no more than 22 weeks per year but I was gone 50 weeks that first year My home life was a total disaster Don left that job and moved the family to Indianapolis where he worked for an innovative firm that had developed a chemical patching system for flat tires During this time Don was inspired by the owner of another business who had earned his CPA license while studying at night and on weekends I decided I wanted to do that For two years I went to bed at 9 p m and got up at 3 a m to study Don attended Indiana University Purdue University IUPUI and eventually passed the CPA exam Don began working at Ernst Ernst now Ernst Young as an auditor and in management consulting Looking back Don has regrets regarding how busy he was at the time with three small children I was home but not present I was a semi rotten father I really was McMillan family 1970
Don and Barbara in Palm Springs California 1998 Don moved the family once again to Champaign Urbana Illinois to work as the chief financial officer for a manufacturing company During this time period is when I learned to fly Don s kids experienced flying at a young age each with a different opinion on it Cary enjoyed it Mark could take it or leave it Chris was happy when we landed The University of Illinois at Champaign Urbana had just hired a new President Through friends of friends the President learned about Don s qualifications and offered him a job Next thing you know I m assistant vice president for finance at the university Don was happy to be there He had been looking for an opportunity to settle into a job long term After 10 years at the U of I he moved to Parkland College and served as the director of information systems It was at Parkland where he discovered a love for teaching leading classes in accounting and data processing I loved teaching especially night school The students were older worked hard and wanted to be there A lot of these students realized they blew it when they were 18 or 19 and now were trying to make a new start 14
Tragedy struck in January 2000 when his wife Barbara 65 died of emphysema from smoking She had been sick for a long time She was a good wife and a good person Then in 2001 18 days after 9 11 Don took a Smithsonian sponsored trip to Barcelona Spain The first evening he met an interesting woman named Delores DeWitt She was from Ft Smith Arkansas and a widow The two hit it off Six days later we talked about getting married When Don s son Cary picked him up at the airport in Chicago after the trip Don had news I told him I met a girl Delores had a boyfriend at the time but both parties were ready to call it quits so Don wasted no time in going to visit his new sweetheart After about a week I drove to Arkansas to meet her sons and I stayed until she was ready to go back with me to meet my sons Don and Delores were married on January 2 2002 Delores s children Charles and Alan both live in Arkansas and have families of their own Don spends a lot of time with their families due to their close proximity Delores and Don 2002 15
Don s own children have enjoyed many blessings over the years Cary is married to Rande and lives in Lincolnshire Illinois They have three children Dan Katie and Jenny Mark is married to Annette They live in Park Ridge Illinois and have two children Jack and Dana Chris has a girlfriend and lives in Hartsburg Illinois In addition to traveling to Barcelona Don and Delores have traveled to China Central America Alaska England and Scotland Europe twice and the Greek islands But he says it s getting much harder to travel due to a back condition which makes it difficult to walk very far So what is he up to now Not much At the end of the day I ve had a pretty decent life all things considered It s all turned out pretty well In general I m healthy and go to a fitness trainer 3 times a week I have friends and activities I m happy A rich and busy life filled with heroic military service multiple careers two successful marriages three children five grandchildren a pilot s license all this and more in his 88 years And his story is far from over Don with son Cary and grandchildren Jenny and Dana 2011
Don 1930 17
Don s father a Naval Officer 1925 Don with family at the University of Illinois 2015
Barbara Crush s diary on the moment Don told her he loved her 1956 I sure hope he s the one Don with grandson Dan 2015 19
Don with grandson Jack 2015 20 Don s son Mark and wife Annette 2015