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Bob Kalchbrenner Through the Years a keepsake from Memoir for Me

To Uncle Bob from your goddaughter

Through the years When everything went wrong Together we were strong I know that I belonged Right here with you Through the years I never had a doubt We d always work things out I ve learned what life s about By loving you Through the years Kenny Rogers

Bob and Gloria 1966 After two heart bypass surgeries several cardiac ablations four pacemakers and cardioversion defibrillation procedures Robert Bob known as Butch to family Kalchbrenner may not have the healthiest heart but it hasn t affected his ability to love his wife Gloria of 50 years She s the best thing that ever happened to me They met in 1961 at the Beverly Lounge a local hotspot on the southside of Chicago Gloria Schick was there with her friend Sharon Hurley Bob was out with two friends Bob Walsh and Bob Tracy This naming coincidence caused quite the confusion later when Sharon mentioned to Gloria that Bob liked her and wanted to ask her out After figuring out which Bob was interested Gloria agreed On their first date Bob acting the gentleman drove to Gloria s parents house to pick her up As Gloria was upstairs getting ready Bob sat nervously in the Schick s living room when an awkward exchange took place 5

Gloria s mom Butch Get out here in the kitchen Bob Ok Gloria s mom Where are you going young man Bob Into the kitchen Gloria s mom I was talking to the dog Butch After recovering from that moment Bob took Gloria to Ray Columbs a fancy steak joint They went with two other couples to diffuse the pressure Then it came time to order Everyone decided on pricey plates filet mignon New York strip and sirloin Everyone except Gloria She ordered a club sandwich All I could think is uh oh this isn t going anywhere Unknown to Bob Gloria had been out all day at a family wedding and had her fill of food not to mention drink Thankfully they got through the awkward first date and more followed They married in 1964 at St Sabina s in Chicago Bob grew up Lutheran but more than willingly went through the requirements of the Catholic church attending pre Cana conferences weekly The sessions were an hour but Bob often spent hours afterward with Fr McClory discussing the mysteries of faith McClory commented that Bob knew the Bible better that most of the Catholic boys he counseled 6 Bob and Gloria on their wedding day October 10 1964

Bob and Michael 2000 Despite his strong belief because Bob wasn t Catholic the presiding Monsignor John McMahon deemed it a mixed marriage and treated the couple with disdain At first he insisted we have the wedding in the church basement He made things very rough for Gloria But he was no match to the strong willed bride to be who threatened to just take her business elsewhere inwardly cringing as she had no backup plan in mind Thankfully the Monsignor relented but still posed a thorn in their side even up to the day of the wedding They had a family friend Fr Pat McPolin chaplain to the Chicago police department lined up to preside at the wedding The morning of the ceremony Monsignor halted the arrangement and instead insisted on using a presider of his choosing Despite these tense moments the ceremony went off and the reception that followed was perfect One of my happiest memories was our wedding day I m just thankful she showed up I vowed to Gloria that if we had children we would raise them Catholic Unfortunately God did not grace us with kids 7

They did however help raise Gloria s niece s son Michael for much of his formative youth On weekends they would host sleepovers filled with trips to the zoo or other car trips just to explore The exploration didn t have to be extravagant or far flung to keep Mike occupied Bob recalls one memorable trip just down Milwaukee Avenue Little Mike was about four and he and his Uncle Bob put some cokes and bag of chips in a wagon and journeyed to the nearby train station to sit and watch trains go by He s always loved trains He s 18 now and works for a railroad He wants to be an engineer Bob and Gloria have had a good life together And for over 30 years Bob accompanied Gloria to Catholic mass each week One Sunday morning in 1996 Bob turned to his wife and revealed a startling conclusion he wanted to become a Catholic She never pushed the issue which I really respected I just felt it was time You have to have faith in something Bob spoke with the pastor Fr Lyons in between masses that Sunday He was confirmed later that year after months of catechism and prayer Butch and his sister Lois 1942 8

Butch with his Uncle Johnny in 1945 x Butch Kalchbrenner was born December 21 1940 at Southshore Hospital He grew up in a classic Chicago two flat at 75th and Carpenter The Kalchbrenner family lived on the first floor and they rented the upstairs to tenants Tenants John Danfort and his wife Bernadette lived above the Kalchbrenners for over 30 years They were beloved by the whole family and were referred to as Uncle Johnny and Aunt Birdie John was a Chicago detective in the Bridgeport area Young Bob Kalchbrenner would often visit his Uncle in awe of the large handgun he would spot sitting on their glass dining room table Uncle Johnny was always quick to relocate his weapon to higher ground when Bob came around Both sets of Bob s grandparents were Austrian immigrants Bob s parents Wilma and Robert both spoke Austrian fluently but raised their kids speaking English 9

Wilma kept the house humming and Bob and his sister Lois in line On rare occasions when the two children would bicker Wilma sat both of them on opposite sides of a large server where Bob and Lois had to sit in penance and stare at each other making faces when their mom was not looking But overall Butch was a good kid He had a great relationship with his father who treated his only son with respect He never treated me like a kid He treated me like a man The only time Bob remembers his father lashing out happened when it was more than coming to him His parents were having a dinner party and Wilma forced Butch then about nine to wear a nice wool suit to impress the guests I hated that suit It itched like crazy and put me in a mood Early on in the dinner one of the guests Ray Murray asked young Butch to fetch him a beer I told him to go get it himself Next thing I know my dad grabbed me by the shoulder and marched me right out the door He swatted at me and I just ran Kalchbrenner Family 1950

Bob with his father 1947 Robert Sr was a draftsman drawing plans for Bethlehem Steel Corporation He later became a purchasing agent Sadly Butch s father passed away when he was only 55 of a heart attack a health risk that Butch would inherit Robert Sr was at home enjoying dinner when he had the fatal heart attack Bob and Gloria were visiting Bob s sister when they got the news Call it a women s intuition but that previous Monday Gloria had scheduled her father in law in to see a heart specialist He was supposed to have tests run the next week He was gone much too soon Bob s love for his dad is still evident today On his key ring Bob carries his father s metal work badge from Bethlehem Steel Works In his basement Bob still has and treasures his father s original drafting toolset Bob grew up to be athletic playing baseball or touch football with the neighborhood kids all German Irish or Polish and all Catholic I was the only Lutheran kid on the block 11

After years of strict Lutheran schooling at St Stephan s Grammar School in the Englewood neighborhood Bob much preferred his high school years at Calumet the neighborhood public school My mother made me wear a suit the first day of high school I felt like such a goof Despite the humiliation of that first day Bob developed a tight group of friends that would frequent Skip s Drive In for a burger Melody Lane for ice cream and the Beverly Theater to catch a show Wally Fulton Jim Feichtinger and Bob Walsh were some of his closest friends in high school and they would stay in contact for years During that time he excelled on the football field helping to bring Calumet to the city championships in 1957 He graduated from Calumet in 1958 I may not have been the top student but I sure did have fun Bob 1956 12

Bob working as an embalmer at Furth and Company in 1966 x During summer vacations Bob worked construction and factory jobs and then after high school he followed in his father s footsteps landing an entry level job at Bethlehem Steel Works In 1960 he went to work for Link Belt building cranes and other large construction equipment Around this time he met Gloria who was working full time as a nurse Bob s manual labor was tough and he yearned for a way out of factory work His best friend Steve Sandeman had a father who owned a large funeral home on the southside of Chicago Bob spent his childhood years chasing Steve around the funeral home like a playground not batting an eye at the caskets or mourning guests After a long discussion with Mr Sandeman Bob decided to become an embalmer He completed his preliminary studies at the local junior college and then enrolled in Worsham College of Mortuary Science for a challenging 12 month program full of chemistry anatomy and law with a one year apprenticeship Each Monday Bob worked in the morgue of Cook County Hospital for hands on training as an apprentice embalmer We worked on bodies of shooting and murder victims too many bodies to count Nobody knew their names 13

But it provided good experience After graduating from Worsham Bob worked almost a decade at a Jewish funeral home Furth and Company then ended up working for his friend s family funeral home Sandeman for another nine years The hours were long and often irregular At this time most funeral homes did not have refrigerated rooms so embalmers were called to work at all hours day or night Despite this toll he enjoyed the work One day Bob walked into Gloria s medical clinic complaining of chest pains They ran an EKG and other preliminary tests and all came back clear But Gloria knew something was up She persuaded the doctor to schedule an angiogram Sure enough they found 3 out of the 4 main arteries were 99 blocked He narrowly missed a massive heart attack In 1979 Bob had his first bypass surgery He was only 38 years old Bob took some time off after the operation to recover and realized he would have to shift gears from the daily toll of mortuary work I couldn t handle the hours anymore after that first bypass Luckily for Bob Gloria was a great nurse She also knew the owners of a local pipefitting business McCartin and McAuliffe and made an introduction Mr McCartin hired him to work in their tool shop where he would stay for the next 22 years trading in his suit for a flannel shirt and Carhartt pants Bob working at McCartin 1985 14

Bob and Gloria 2000 But his heart health remained an issue He had trouble breathing at times and noticed in general he was slowing down Something that normally would take me 15 minutes was taking me 45 minutes to an hour Bob had a second cardiac bypass operation in 1992 That one was a doozy Saying goodbye to Gloria before being wheeled in for that operation was one of the hardest moments in his life Bob was on the operating table for 10 hours and then put on a heart lung machine for the next five days There was serious concern he was not going to pull out of it alive After that experience everyday is a plus I am thankful I can still move around and Gloria is with me After months of intensive rehab Bob returned to work Aside from two open heart surgeries he has had several pacemakers cardiac ablations and defibrillations to correct his chronic irregular heartbeat In 2013 he underwent a risky procedure to replace his faulty heart valves Each time Bob was determined to get through it get home and get on with his life 15

Even now at age 74 Bob works two days a week as a driver for auto auctions He doesn t need the work but enjoys getting out of the house and socializing with the other drivers all retirees like him and all full of good stories The support and camaraderie these men have provided Bob has been a blessing through life s ups and downs After facing several life threatening moments Bob views each day is a gift When asked what he is most proud of he pointed to his wife without hesitation My wife is the greatest nurse I ve ever met If it hadn t been for her and good doctors I would not be here today Bob 2007

Bob 1948 Bob 1950 17