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Anne O Connor Bucher A Life a keepsake from Memoir for Me memoirforme com

And if the darkness is to keep us apart And if the daylight feels like it s a long way off And if your glass heart should crack And for a second you turn back Oh no be strong Walk on You re packing a suitcase for a place None of us has been A place that has to be believed to be seen You could have flown away A singing bird in an open cage Who will only fly only fly for freedom Walk on What you got They can t deny it Can t sell it or buy it Walk on And I know it aches How your heart it breaks And you can only take so much Walk on U2

Anne 1969 Anne Kathleen O Connor Bucher lived a full life in her 45 years She was a loving daughter a confidant of a sister a star student especially in math an accountant a lover of all things chocolate and Irish a wife and a mother But to her family and those closest to her she was above all loved Cancer may have taken her in 2013 but thankfully the stories remain Anne was born in 1968 joining older brothers Wally b 1966 and Danny 1967 The family grew up in Berwyn a southwest suburb about 8 miles from downtown Chicago Anne was the first girl and the first granddaughter on both sides said her mom Kathleen O Connor And her first great granddaughter on her father s side God knew it was time for the family to welcome a girl She was God s blessing after the boys They were awful said Kathleen Anne was joined by sister Jeanne a year and a half later in 1970 The two were inseparable through childhood and early adulthood If I could ve had a twin it would ve been her You couldn t say Anne without Jeanne It was always Anne and Jeanne 3

Additional siblings followed Kate 1971 Mary 1974 and Jimmy 1975 Tragically Kathleen became the only parent for much of their kids lives when husband Ken passed away in 1975 shortly after Jimmy s birth The large family grew up tight literally and figuratively with kids spilling out of the 5 bedroom bungalow at 1301 Elmwood where Kathleen still lives today Growing up all 7 of us were each others best friends said Jeanne We thought that was the norm that your sibling was your best friend Skirmishes were inevitable though of all the O Connor children Anne usually stayed out of the fray That is except for that one time When she was in first grade her older brothers who loved her dearly gave her a haircut said mom Kathleen So she had new bangs for her first grade picture That s how kind they were to her Though the now infamous hair incident of 1974 remains sharp in Kathleen s memory Anne s hair did grow back and she grew into the role of peacekeeper for the family Anne didn t fight with anyone said Jeanne I can come up with a million stories of everyone else who they argued with at any given point Because in a family of seven there were always sides to be picked Back Mary Kathleen Wally Danny Anne front Jeanne and Kate 1975

Anne s haircut 1974 Back Kathleen Kate baby Ken Jeanne Front Anne Danny and Wally 1972 That didn t mean Anne was a perfect child Jeanne recalls a time when she and her siblings were upstairs playing with a toy iron Anne had recently gotten for Christmas We were all supposed to be asleep but we took the sheets and blankets off the six beds to iron Of course my mom heard us because how can you not hear 6 kids running around By the time my mom got to the top of the stairs Anne was the first one in bed She was no saint Anne knew just how not to get caught Anne was the instigator It was her iron pointed out Jeanne She just knew how to pull it together in time In addition to avoiding detection Anne was level headed and calm when the world around her was not She was quiet but knew her mind said Kathleen She knew how to get things done in a nice way I never heard her raise her voice to anybody Jeanne looked up to her older sister I admired her She had so many qualities that I didn t have and that the rest of my family didn t have There are 6 of us that are more alike than we want to admit but she wasn t loud and dramatic like the rest of us She d say something and nobody would argue with her Thank heaven they had Anne Someone s gotta be the voice of reason 5

Younger brother Jimmy also looked up to his sister Anne who brought him comfort during tough times He remembers a moment when he was down and out about saying goodbye to his girlfriend now wife Jennifer The two were headed to different colleges I was having a hard time with it I was just sitting on the porch all by myself and next thing I know my sister Anne was sitting there next to me just trying to cheer me up and talk me through it That really helped me Though Jimmy doesn t remember Anne s exact words he remembers the feeling like it was yesterday Anne was very loyal She was always there for you Though seven years apart in age Jimmy had always gravitated towards Anne and Jeanne and their friends and neighbors the Healy girls Their Berwyn neighborhood provided a perfect backdrop for childhood I d like to think they wanted me to be with them and not that Mom made them take me I remember huge games of Kick the Can and Ghost in the Graveyard in the summer months We d be outside all hours of the day When the streetlights came on you had to come home Aside from makeshift games fun times were spent at the Food Shop on Roosevelt the Lake Theater and 22nd and Harlem and Cuyler Pool 6 Back Danny Anne Wally Jeanne front Kate Jimmy and Mary 1980

Anne and her mom Kathleen 1990 Anne 1998 Back at home Jimmy was the only O Connor kid to have his own room but preferred to bunk upstairs with Jeanne and Anne because their room was air conditioned But this amenity came at its own risk I d sleep on the floor between their two beds and they d mess with me One time I woke up outlined and covered in balled up Kleenex But the teasing was good natured and Jimmy knew it Jeanne remembers their childhood bedroom covered in Teen Beat magazines with a poster of Sean Cassidy pinned up on the wall They also did a lot of redecorating We shared a room for the longest time and loved painting and then repainting our room I don t know how my mom ever thought that was a good idea said Jeanne They changed rooms all the time as their moods changed said mom Kathleen It never bothered me Anne and her siblings all went to Havlicek Elementary School then Lincoln Junior High The boys went on to high school at St Pat s and the girls went to Trinity Anne was a good student excelling in math Her senior year she visited St Mary s College and knew she belonged She knew what she wanted to do said mom Kathleen 7

Anne was accepted at St Mary s through early admission and continued to excel academically The school was only two hours from home and family visits both home and to the school were frequent Jimmy s first exposure to collegiate football was through a visit to see his big sister on campus She s the reason why I m a huge ND fan I would take trips with my mom to visit and walk the campus Jimmy has fond memories of those drives to South Bend Indiana listening to Casey Kasem call out his top 40 hits over the airwaves Kathleen also enjoyed time together with her daughter in the car When she wanted to come home for a weekend I could go and pick her up and bring her home said Kathleen So I always had that time with her On Sundays when she d go back I would take her back after dinner It was my time to be with her Talking listening to music we would stop at Arby s along the way That seemingly mundane ride through the cornfields took on a lot of meaning for Kathleen It wasn t something big but it turned out to be big for me Anne graduated from St Mary s with honors and invited her brother Jimmy to graduation Her brain was something I looked up to her for She was always big on education always set the bar high for herself and strived for it But she wasn t a perfectionist and you would never see her gloat about it said Jimmy She had this quiet confidence about her 8 Anne and Jimmy 1990 Anne and Mary 1990

Jimmy Uncle Jim Mary Anne and Kathleen in Ireland 1991 Jeanne agrees about her sister s work ethic Anne was always so focused on what she wanted She had a plan and worked really hard for it She saved her money She was the smart one smarter than all of us One of Anne s goals was to see the world In 1988 after months of saving she studied abroad for several weeks making time for fun and to shop for trinkets for her family This experience would set the scene for a later trip to Ireland with family in 1991 Anne her mom her uncles Jim and Tim her brother Jimmy and sister Mary spent two weeks meeting with distant cousins and touring the country visiting Cork Kerry Dublin and Galway The three O Connor siblings Anne Mary and Jimmy all went out one night to soak up what Ireland had to offer I ll never forget it Anne bought my first beer in some small town pub in Ireland said Jimmy It was a chance for us as siblings to be together get away and have our own fun Kathleen remembers their road record I can remember my brother driving in some small town and hitting a car We reported it to the police because this was probably our third accident Luckily for the O Connors the accidents happened in different towns 9

They would hear our name and say You re from Chicago It s their fault Anne would just be sitting there shaking her head recalls Kathleen Whether it was the local hospitality or their sense of forgiveness Anne loved everything Irish Back home she loved to celebrate St Patrick s Day with plenty of Irish music fare and a parade She wasn t crazy about cabbage but loved corned beef and soda bread said mom Kathleen And we mustn t forget the drink She just liked a good drink Anne may have been disciplined in her work and studies but her diet was far from perfect She was the worst eater said Jeanne Chocolate for breakfast Pretzels and ranch dressing for lunch We would just sit together hang out and eat crappy food Anne also had a soft spot for chocolate in any form When she had a family of her own she took them on a vacation to Hershey Pennsylvania America s most famous chocolate landmark That s how serious she is about her chocolate said Jeanne Kathleen links the sweetness of the chocolate with Anne s kind heart Kate Mary Jeanne Kathleen and Anne 1990

Kate Anne Jeanne and Rosemary all holding Mary 1984 I have a fond memory of her coming in on Christmas Eve always baking always something chocolate I can just picture her walking in with a smile on her face and her sweets said Kathleen Honestly I can t look at a piece of chocolate without thinking of her Christmas Eve was a big thing for the O Connor family Mom Kathleen always hosted but had plenty of help I cook the turkey and everyone else takes care of the rest This was a full day affair It starts around 11 and goes until late By the time everybody leaves the dishes are done the vacuum is run the garbage is out They are all good kids with good spouses As an adult Anne was as loyal an employee as she was a sister working for Equity Lifestyle Properties for over 20 years She was good at her job and accountable She clocked her hours honest to a T said Jeanne She worked from home a few days a week She d get up early to get some work done while her kids were still sleeping and then when she d take the kids to preschool she would count that as her lunchtime 11

Though she loved her work outside the home Anne s role of mother to three was more important She would do anything for her kids said Jimmy She put them first for everything Anne s children have many of her same wonderful qualities Ken is goal oriented Megan has her smarts She remembers everything and isn t afraid to speak up Michael is quieter and sensitive said Jeanne She was an amazing mom to those kids Anne was never too busy to miss a football or baseball game or an Irish dance feis She was a calming mom too said Jeanne She was the same way with her kids as she was to us siblings growing up Always the go to person Her kids knew they could go to her anytime It was in January 2012 when tragedy struck Anne was diagnosed with breast cancer and would spend the next 23 months in treatment Wednesdays became our day to spend going to the doctor said Kathleen So I think about being with her going down to Northwestern They re mixed memories but it was still time spent together said Kathleen 12 Megan Michael and Ken

Ken and Anne Michael and Anne Anne and Meghan Like other challenges she took on in life Anne fought her cancer with the same determination She was going to fight and she did said Kathleen She was very sick towards the end but waited for all her siblings to visit before she passed After fighting for almost two years Anne passed away December 20 2013 Not surprisingly Anne was busy preparing for the holidays just like any other year Even at the end she was busy wrapping gifts for her kids said Kathleen That s how selfless she is We still continued to celebrate Christmas that year The turkey was already defrosting Anne would have wanted it that way Family rallied together to make sure Christmas still happened with Kathleen Anne s sister Mary and her niece Clare trimming Anne s family tree and completing the shopping for her 3 children Though she misses her daughter terribly Kathleen finds peace in the way Anne left this life She didn t really suffer She was walking the same day God was good to her that way When asked what reminds each of them of Anne it was universally hard to pinpoint one thing I look around my house and see so many things that remind me of Anne said Kathleen A blanket she made me a Halloween basket And she loved beanie babies 13

Her brother Jimmy links anything Irish to his sister and in 2014 inked a permanent reminder of Anne right on to him I got a tattoo on my leg for her with the pink ribbon and the shamrock The shamrock was like the sun for her It always brings back good memories When asked what she misses the most sister Jeanne can t name just one thing Everything She s the first thing I think of in the morning and the last person I think of when I go to bed Choking back tears Jeanne looks for the bright side I can imagine her looking down and just laughing at us Not at us but with us It goes back to growing up whenever we were laughing it seemed like we were getting in trouble for something So she still is a part of it but somehow still not getting the brunt of it Jimmy can t name one thing I miss everything about her She was the whole package Perhaps her mom Kathleen sums it up the best I miss Anne for being Anne 14 So treasure her Lord in your garden of rest for here on earth Lord she was of the best

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Anne s family was asked about favorite memories lessons learned and what reminds them most of her The responses were as diverse as Anne herself Anne is one of nicest people you could have ever meet Her family was her number one thing in life She would do anything for them and always want to make them happy Once she got married and had kids they were her main focus in life She always had pictures of her kids everywhere and for everything Anne was always smiling If you saw her smile you would think she was having the best day of her life When Anne got sick she never questioned Why me I loved my sister and will always miss her Wally Anne was the quiet yet strong glue of our family She was the one to observe and very rarely joined in all our fights and debates She then provided us with reason and resolution which is why she will always be loved and missed dearly Love you Anne Kevin Anne greeted everyone with a smile on her face and was always looking for the chocolates at family gatherings Patrick Anne taught me to always love unconditionally and she was always really supportive and encouraging You could always tell how much she cared about her kids and how much she loved them because the photos she had in her house were always recent Kailee 16

Anne was one year behind my bother Wally and I in school The teachers were always relieved when they had Anne as a student in their class after the challenges that Wally and I brought to their classrooms I didn t care much for school unlike Anne who always worked hard to earn good grades As a result my mom would let me stay out a little later on weekends when Anne came with since she was the voice of reason and made sure we got home safe and on time Growing up in Berwyn in the mid 70s many Italians had Italian jackets with their last names on it Anne always proud of her family and heritage wore a green and white Irish jacket with O Connor on the back She loved that jacket and wore it often and with pride Anne could not have been more proud of her children Ken Megan and Michael When we got together Anne would talk about how her kids were doing in school and what sports or other activities they were involved in such as football Irish dancing or baseball Anne taught me how important and precious life is and to enjoy every moment of it as much as possible Dan 17

Not long after Danny and I were dating we went with Anne on a double date where we took a party bus with a big group to the Cubs game Anne was very quiet as always and I was my chatty self Both of us even more so quiet chatty because of being nervous since we hadn t spent much time together By the end of the day both of us had relaxed with the help of a few libations and Anne had opened up to the point that we were signing along with the music playing on the bus and telling stories of growing up and we were confiding in each other Katina 18

Anne taught me to never give up even in the hardest of times In her time fighting cancer she had a smile on her face and a positive attitude anytime I saw her Anne also taught me to be thankful Even if it was something little you did for her she was so appreciative My favorite memory of Anne is being at her house and just sitting and talking with her She was always so interested in what was going on with everyone s life and always remembered what you were doing Nicole My favorite memory of Anne was the summer when all of the cousins aunts and uncles got together in Grant Park downtown for the 5k walk for breast cancer When Anne saw all of her family gathered around her her face lit up She always knew she had the support of her family but our actions that day spoke louder than any words we could ve said When nothing seemed to be going right in the previous couple of months that one day was perfect Anne will forever be remembered on that walk smiling as large as she could Ken Some of my favorite memories of Anne are from when we were in Florida Throughout the entire trip she had a smile on her face and was laughing every moment she could She would tell the funniest jokes and her laugh was so kind Every room that she walked into would immediately light up with joy She could make anyone smile Marissa

I have a lifetime of memories of Anne each one closer to my heart than the next We shared laughs cries and good times with each other as well as with our family and friends However there s one memory that the two of us shared a bond between just us It was the day Anne I brought my firstborn daughter Sarah also Anne s goddaughter home from the hospital With John working it seemed only natural that Anne would be the one with me to journey home with a newborn in tow And journey it was From fumbling with a car seat to deciphering Sarah s cries of hunger or wanting to be held or something in between More often than not Sarah wanted to be held and snuggled and with Anne s calm manner she was always able to soothe her Although not a mother herself at the time Anne s love relationship and bond with my daughter was to be admired This went on for days and then days became weeks until Anne started her new job Through this support our relationship became even more special and Anne gave me the confidence I needed Once she started her own family she unconditionally continued her bond and love with not only me but with my family as she raised her own children As I close my eyes I can see Anne holding not just Sarah but each one of her children She was of the best 20 Jeanne

My strongest memory of Anne was during her cancer treatment I wanted to help her in any way I could so Jeanne and I came up with the idea of having me cook for her and her family It was a lot of fun we went grocery shopping and had a bunch of laughs mostly me making fun of her about her eating habits chocolate was a major food group to Anne and not knowing where anything was in the grocery store But I was so excited to just be with her and help anyway I could When we returned to her house I began to prepare the meal and Anne rested on the couch I remember we would talk and I could tell she was getting tired so I just brought her a blanket and gave her a hug and went back to cooking I remember checking on her every few minutes and making sure she was all right She would just look at me and say I am fine I would laugh and go back to the kitchen The funny thing is I cannot even remember what I made that day I just remember laughing and joking around with her I was so glad I was able to spend those few precious hours alone with her John The memories I have of Anne typically involve my mom Day after day I would have to listen to their phone conversations while in the car and I did not quite understand why they had to talk every single day to each other I often thought this everyday conversation was a typical thing for most siblings to do when they got older But I came to realize that not everyone does this The bond my mom and Anne shared was unfathomable I am glad that I was able to witness something this special Other memories include going over to her house to hang out with her son Ken Hockey was a big thing at their house It was always funny to see how well educated Anne was on hockey compared to my mom Anne is with me even at school in Ohio On the first day of October which is breast cancer awareness month I had my Team Anne shirt out and ready to wear in support of the cause Matthew 21

Anne taught me what it means to be dedicated to your family Not only did I experience it as one of her nieces but I witnessed her dedication to her other nieces and nephews mother siblings and most importantly her children Just days before she passed away my Grandma and I watched as she made the most detailed and thoughtful list of presents for her kids on Christmas This is something I will always remember and admire because even though she was very sick she focused on her kids Clare For most people fairy godmothers are the stuff of fables but for me whose name means princess it was all too fitting that I had my very own fairy godmother Anne She spoiled me rotten with toys took me to Disney World and when I slept over dinner was Dean s ranch dip and pretzels The difference between magical powers and her generous spirit were indistinguishable to me a Disney obsessed child But her generous spirit went beyond material goods and in her role as my godmother she was a confidant and mentor I had the pleasure of working with her at ELS and I looked forward to our 30 minute lunch break where over a turkey sandwich which she ate every day she managed to help me navigate office politics provide sage wisdom about my roommate drama and made sure I realized how important family was even when they were driving me crazy She was an amazing listener and sounding board much needed in a family of talkers It never ceases to amazing me how she was acutely sensitive and responsive to everyone s needs including mine She was so much to so many 22 I wish the magic words Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo could bring her back but by striving to be a generous soul loving sister devoted daughter and excellent professional I will continue to honor her memory Sarah

My favorite memory of Anne was when we were younger and we would be at the farm on the pier tanning Since Anne was the oldest girl she would always get to pick her spot first Anne would always make sure that no matter where we laid we did not block her rays of sun Anne was the one who taught me to never give up Anne was a fighter I had always struggled during high school but Anne always told me I was smarter than I thought and that I could do it When Anne took her trip to Ireland she brought me back a beautiful green wool sweater that I wore for my senior pictures I decided to bring Anne along to my senior graduation ceremony because she was there for me and helped push me to see my true potential I always valued what Anne said and highly respected her opinion Anne was one person that I always wanted to make happy and proud Anne was my ROCK Anne brought a smile to so many faces Her love for taking pictures was always with her no matter the event or occasion Anne always had her camera on her and could get someone to smile for any picture Her love for chocolate was another huge thing Anne did not care what was on the menu you always had to serve some type of chocolate She especially loved Fannie May Mint Meltaways Kate Anne was always excited to see everyone on Christmas Eve and would always make sure she caught up with everyone throughout the evening She was a big fan of Notre Dame and she was a very proud alumna of Saint Mary s Anne loved her kids very much and wanted them to be involved in activities as well as keep in touch with family Mike Our family has always been big fans of Notre Dame football I knew that Aunt Anne went to the sister school Saint Mary s College and she was also a big Notre Dame fan She inspired me to look into the possibility of attending either school and reaching for my goals Now that I am a student at Saint Mary s I realize the special relationship between the schools and understand why my Aunt loved this period of her life I only hope that I do half as well as she did in life Colleen My aunt taught me a lot of things in life her most influential piece of advice was to stay positive Throughout the hard times she was able to be filled with happiness and keep others around her hopeful Aunt Anne was able to make everyone laugh at any time and she always managed to put a smile on everyone s face no matter the situation MaryKate 23

My favorite memory of Anne was raising our kids together I miss going to open house car pooling for pre school chorus concerts and being room mother s for school parties We would walk over to each others houses and go for walks or just let the kids play She was always my go to person for everything from childhood to adulthood I would call her daily for advice or just to hear her calming and reassuring voice I miss her being part of my every day Her smile was infectious She truly was the best big sister Mary 24 I can t say that I have one favorite Anne memory I just always enjoyed her company She never seemed to let things bother her even after she got sick I think about her all the time Whenever I get to the end of my street for example if I turn left she instantly pops into my head because I know that I will be driving past her house Every time I go to the little grocery store Angelo s I think about the time she and I went shopping there together Every family party just seems like something is missing because it is her smile or just her calming presence The way she remained stoic during her illness is something I admired and I know I will never forget Steve

Something I admired about Anne was her calmness I remember playing video games with Michael and Anne would tell us to get off the games We wouldn t right away so she would have to ask again She never yelled or got mad at us that just wasn t her thing Sometimes she would even laugh about having to ask us more than once Christopher For me butterflies will always be a symbolic way of remembering Anne They re peacefully flying high and beautiful just like her Emily I have a picture of me and Anne on my desk in my room I miss her smile and her stopping by our house I miss seeing Anne Tommy 25

Anne was a mom everything she said everything she did was about and for her kids Every time I think about her I remember how great of a mother she was Her life revolved around Ken Megan and Michael they made her so happy She had a way of calming them down regardless of the situation That was something I admired about her she never lost her cool with the kids and that calmness she had carried through to them For me she was a model of motherhood Jennifer We remember that Anne and her family would always be the first people at a party and Anne would make the best desserts for those parties 26 Colin Ryan Sean Anne was very much about family whether it was her siblings and mother or once she had them her own children We would have quarterly birthday parties for the nieces and nephews Anne was always the first one to try and get the party organized while others of us would usually wait until the last minute Whenever you would see or talk to her she would always have a genuine interest in how your family was doing She was also very proud of her children and would always let you know how they were doing or what was going on She had a very strong belief in and a loyalty to her family No matter what no one could shake that or take that from her Family always came first to Anne Jim

Always Team Anne